Well I can’t make the interval and the coach says I need to keep up with turbo butt. And there’s no way that’s going to happen unless I put on my diving fins which, by the way, the rotund retired guys wear at a masters class I sometimes go to in my mom’s Florida retirement community. These boys have massive beer bellies and are the shape and general hairiness of a pregnant Kangaroo. The coach will say let’s warm-up with an easy 50. Before I even push off the wall the retirement boys are there and back like fat and well-tanned Michelin men under water torpedoes.
By the way, have you ever noticed that when you swim you tend to bargain with yourself like a used Turkish rug salesman? You know what I mean, you have this internal conversation like; “Self, if you swim one more set that you can call it quits and go get lunch.” or “Self, just swim until the top of the hour and you can jump in the hot tub.” Why is this? This does not happen on long run or bike rides. I think I figured out the reason today. On a run or a bike you tend to be committed to finishing the distance since you need to get back home. In the pool you just need to swim another 25-yards. The solution is simple. We need pools at least 1000-yards long.
There would be no internal bargaining if you were outside in the cold and your choice was to swim back to the start of the pool or get out and walk back. I bet you’d be putting in at least a 2000-yard workout every time.
